


Irreversible

by fortheverses



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Developing Friendships, Gen, Gray does not want to see anyone hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:13:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheverses/pseuds/fortheverses
Summary: As an 11 year old, Gray Fullbuster doesn't yet understand how to protect his new family at Fairy Tail, and to make matters worse, this is about protecting his 'rival' Natsu, who seems to have burnt all his brain cells away.But Gray WILL go too far if he has to.Because he has to.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster, Natsu Dragneel & Lisanna Strauss, Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Irreversible

"Do you even understand how stupid, how damn _careless_ this was, hothead?!"

He doesn't get it.

Even when he takes a deep breath and focuses on trying to understand what Gray's problem is, Natsu doesn't get it.

Fists clenched, jaw set, chest heaving, nostrils flaring, eyes aflame with emotions that Natsu can't even begin to decode, 11 year old Gray Fullbuster is glaring at him like he'll tear him apart if Natsu doesn't...something...really whatever does Gray want? Why's he so worked up?

Natsu doesn't know what to say.

He shrugs.

It gets a growl from Gray and his eyes get set into slits through which he's glaring savagely at Natsu now and his hands are trembling at his sides, yeah positively shaking in anger.

Shrugging didn't work, then.

"It's not safe! Numbskull! You must've burned your brain to a crisp years ago!"

Natsu's gasps at the insult, ready to give back now but Gray's loud tirade drowns out his attempted protest in its infancy.

"You have to use your head, Flamebrain! Missions are different from our fights, they're dangerous! You understand what I'm saying?"

Natsu frowns.

"I obviously know that, iceblo-"

"Then act like you DO!! If the request says 6 ogres, how can you take only Lisanna with you? How many ogres did you think you were each gonna take out, huh? And how were you going fight them all at once? You DIDN'T think of any of it! You should've taken Erza and Mira and me! Or elfman! Hell you should've just left this mission to Macao and Wakaba! What would you have done if something happened to you? Or to HER?"

"BUT NOTHING HAPPENED, GOD DAMMIT! THE OGRES WERE ALL SPLIT UP! SPLIT. UP. GET THAT THROUGH, POPSICLE! WE TOOK THEM OU-"

"WHAT IF THEY WEREN'T SPLIT UP??!! WHAT IF THEY ALL CHARGED YOU TWO TOGETHER AND YOU COULDN'T GET TO HER WHEN SHE NEEDED HELP AND SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HER? WHAT IF THEY ACTUALLY KILLED HER NATSU?! HOW ON EARTH WOULD YOU REVERSE THAT?!"

Natsu sucks in a laboured breath. It feels like Gray punched the air right out of his lungs somehow without even touching him.

And Gray looks like he's got no air of his own either. He looks half mad, really. He's never looked like this before, not around Natsu...

How would he reverse it...? He really...can't reverse it.

Natsu takes another deep breath. There's not enough air flowing into his lungs or something, everything inside him feels heavy with the dread that Gray's words have put in him.

He cannot reverse it. If something had happened yesterday, then right now...

As Natsu refocuses on Gray with his realization written out miserably over his face, he only meets Gray's eyes for one stolen moment before Gray drops his head. Gray's eyes looked different this time, more like what Natsu himself was feeling, but...more? Heavy. Very...intense? Natsu's really hating this. He still can't decode it, but Gray's looking all wrong, his eyes are looking all wrong.

All the fight has left Gray. His head is hung so low that his hair is hiding half his face. When he speaks again, his voice, all whispered low and hoarse and more, doesn't sound like his own.

"Just be careful, Natsu. I know you're really strong, but sometimes...just think first. Even if it's only you, but think really hard when it's not just you."

Natsu nods. His lower lip trembles. Gray isn't looking up, so at least he doesn't see it.

His heart feels so heavy now, Natsu really hopes it won't always feel this way.

He can think. He will think things through. He will protect. He cannot stand to lose someone again, to let them just be gone suddenly, especially not if he can help it.

He has a choice here. It's going to be okay then. If he has a say, he's going to make sure he doesn't let it happen again. He's going to make sure because he has a choice here and he can think about important things and Gray has shown him what he must choose.

He gets it now.

And he feels a little saved.

Natsu really doesn't know how to tell Gray the way it now feels - he feels like something has been set right, like he has clarity, he knows in his core that all he wants is to protect everyone, exactly like Gray just said and he has to learn how and it's really really scary but what really terrifies Natsu, cripples him is the possibility of having made the mistake before Gray could warn him not to.

To think that it could've happened on his last mission, Lisanna could've...

Natsu didn't see it on his own, but now it's clear. He also sees that he has gained a friend he trusts, completely.

Gray is his nakama. He's looking out for Natsu.

Natsu looks up at Gray as all his feelings overwhelm him. Maybe Gray would be better than him at decoding the look in _his_ eyes, because Natsu has no idea how to tell him any of this...but Gray doesn't see it. He doesn't see any of it.

Gray is already walking away.

His hands are buried into his pockets, his head hung low and the way he walks, he looks so alone, so pained, unreachable... Natsu's heart breaks.

The feeling of being saved washes away, instead it feels like he is already too late.

Gray's already gotten hurt.

All Natsu can tell is that it's really really bad.

How on earth would he...he cannot reverse it.

What can he do?

Natsu cries, out of his own helplessness. It's everything he hates. He needs a choice here, for Gray, to fix...

Gray walks away alone.

Even as it happens, Natsu knows that he regrets it.

He regrets Gray's solitude. He regrets not knowing how to do for Gray what was so selflessly done for him.

Why did Gray go this far for him?

He's never felt more indebted. And he's helpless.

Gray walks away alone and never sees the look in Natsu's eyes. For all his wisdom, Gray is only a traumatized 11 year old boy who cannot even remember what security or innocence feels like.

Or forgiveness.

He has no hope to ever find either one again.

He may have come closer to remembering, if he'd looked into Natsu's eyes and seen his heart break for him, but Gray only has eyes for the past.

How on earth does he reverse any of that?

**Author's Note:**

> It gets better for Gray, slowly. :)
> 
> Natsu just needs some time, he already has all the heart.
> 
> I'm thinking of growing this into eventual Gratsu if anyone's interested in reading that? If you are, please drop a word.
> 
> Thank for reading, all forms of feedback are appreciated. Happy new year everyone!


End file.
